[theknightwhosaysni-NI]

I agree with you.

I prefer method number 2 but that's my personal preference. For this method not to be counter productive for my goals, I try to find the positive aspect in the trait I want to express.

Example :

I hate when people give me orders. I hate when someone tells me what I have to do.

I have a personality of someone who lets people decide for themselves and giving orders is obviously part of my "shadow".

So, instead of expressing that trait into literally "giving orders", I try to find what is positive in this trait.
Here the positive thing for me is that someone who gives orders have responsibilities. And that is the thing I actually have to express : I want to take responsibilities, to act more and to get involved in projects where I will have responsibilities.

I love this method, everything that annoys me or scares me is now a pointer of where I have to work.