I'm confused about my life because it seems like the exact opposite of the scenario you're presenting here. In fact, it's gotten to the point where I've heard so many variations on that scenario that it almost seems like a cliche to me now: we choose abusive families and impoverished conditions in order to be better prepared to make some kind of contribution to the world, some kind of advancement, experience some kind of growth & learning.
I was born into a nice family. An innocent family. A possibly naive family. Nothing abusive, nobody died prematurely, nothing traumatic happened. And yet I go through life with a chip on my shoulder, a constant feeling of something being "not right". I identify more with celebrities who have suffered some kind of loss and go through extreme highs and lows than with those who seem to have a steady and peaceful disposition. In relationships, my sister and I have both gravitated towards people with a history of abuse in their families. Sometimes I think I suffered a trauma in a previous life, but that doesn't make sense if we wipe the slate clean to begin a new one.