[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by themaster

You understand the only reason why it doesn't work for you "as you say" is your EGO, yes?

No I don't understand I can SEE that it doens't work for me, because I don't have what I want. How is that my ego, that's just my perception.

Of course another forum would tell you that.. as I said Even your dad, my uncle maybe, mom and all your friends might repeat that same message..

"New age is a new message" that many, many people might be in DENIAL about.. the reason why we allow this on this forum is cause it's founder talks about it all the time

Thinking outside the box is allowed on this forum.. it's not always allowed on any other forum..

Oh I know...but I needed to do it and I didn't want to come back here because I get a negative reaction, people want me to go away, not keep coming back with another problem or the same one. I wanted some fresh advice from people that didn't already know me.

I'm not arguing against this.. action might do it.. but I'm not sure how you’re going to get into action if you feel like your lazy? have social anxiety? etc.?

There are a lot of actions I can take that won't force me to have social anxiety, for example my B&B job. I get to work all by myself, or with my co-worker but thats different because we work together so it isn't like I'm serving a customer or taking care of someone, she trained me in so she's in charge, not me. No stress for me. And yeah I'm lazy but if I can find a job that pays the bills, I will gradually get better and I won't be as lazy anymore. Part of why I'm so lazy now is because I didn't have to work for so long, I got used to sitting around and I lost muscle and gained fat. Also part of why I'm lazy is because I am just feeling defeated by not having enough money, and when you feel like you are beaten down, you lose your energy.

Rockchick, I'm not calling you a liar! And yet I am.. what I'm saying is.. if you had really wanted a job 100% I think you and I can agree you'd have one by now..

If by that you mean I would be applying to literally every single job out there...then no I don't want a job bad enough to do just any job. Like I won't work at Walmart (although I did apply there last year, but that was before I learned how unethical they are). So yeah there are jobs I won't do but I have still applied for enough that I should have gotten more than 2 bites in this entire last year and a half. In a normal economy I probably would have gotten 75% of these jobs.

Perhaps like giving up the "spiritual books" it's time to give the ACTION journey up too.. this is what a lot of my text to you has been about.. has it not?

Give up action and spiritual stuff!? What does that leave? I still don't know what exactly you want me to do, do you want me to even try to get a full time job? Do you want me to completely surrender and let my bills pile up and crawl back home and hide in my room forever, miserable? I need a step by step plan of what you think I should do, real concrete steps, don't just say "let go" or something vague that I have to figure out.

Rockchick, this is your problem right here.. your judging yourself "bad" in essence your saying "I don't like me" every time you do something..

It's my like my father and his couch.. come on give yourself a damn break! Please??? For me??? With cherry's on top??

Don't judge yourself bad ever! I don't care if you spend the next 2 years playing nintendo on the street/your parents.. validate that it's okay to be that way.. and that's not a wrong life! If you would do just that simple act.. you would feel just a little happier everyday.. if you could walk around and say "I'm perfect, everything I do is perfect, nothing I ever do is wrong! EVER!"

I wish I could agree with you but I am hurting myself physically and mentally! I am HURTING myself by being lazy! That is never good. This is the kind of stuff that leads to health problems, and I really don't need any more types of problems. At least right now I am physically healthy enough to work, but if I keep damaging my body, something is going to happen where I won't be able to even work and then I'll really be up a **** creek.

BTW the crazy merry-go-round line above.. is from “the hudsucker proxy” movie.. when I first wrote it.. I could not remember which movie it came from.. as I finished your text up I consciously remembered.. it’s a great movie you should have a watch sometime see if you like it?

I'm pretty sure my friend has it, I'll suggest it next time I'm there!