 this is what i feel now
Ok!
what i feel right for me is this:
J.is in his own hologram creating and experiencing his own Games.and im in mine,however as we both wanted to play with each other,through a relationship,here i am now,after been reading the BL,somehow worrying about his own games,cause i thought it was me who created that experience to him.
however,it isnt. what im doing is really popping up what already existed and was somehow hidden,and now through the phase where i am,the thing is that i choose to play to what signifies more joy and fullfilment to me.
so i do the process like " some sort of Hopponopono",im sorry for the part in me that created that part in You/im Sorry/I love you/Forgive me and then also appreciating all my Creations and my POwer.but choosing to experience other parts on him that i prefer.
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