You're right. I could have worded it better...something like:
"It frustrates the hell out of me when I write something that I feel is clear, and people then misunderstand it, which means I have to take more time to repeat myself so they can, and still they misunderstand, and then the more I repeat myself, the more it seems like I'm "obsessed" with what I am repeating by others, which is yet another misunderstanding...so I have to repeat myself again. That is frustrating for me and I just wanted to express it"
Thanks Steve for the feedback.
I did actually add to that last post that it probably meant I wasn't reading other peoples posts very well either...just FYI.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina  This is a disempowering stance for you to adopt. You can't solve this problem at that level of thinking since that's the level that gives rise to the problem in the first place.
As I've been communicating for many years, I've been misunderstood and misquoted a great deal. Happens just about every day. But if I put too much blame on others for not listening, I'm giving my power away, and the problem just continues. On top of that, I then have to deal with my own frustration.
I think you'll discover as I have that when you feel like blaming others too strongly for not listening, you'll really pointing at yourself for not listening.
That's when you need to pause, take a deep breath, and realize that if the communication isn't happening effectively, you're 100% responsible for it.
Communicating clearly isn't about screaming at people to listen more. That doesn't help. When people aren't hearing you, it means you're not doing a very good job of communicating. For example, you may be trying to use plain text to convey emotional context, but text is a poor medium for that.
When you empower yourself, you can do things like use audio or video or face to face conversation instead of complaining via text, where emotions are so likely to be misunderstood.
For example, I use CGW to convey ideas that would be hard to convey through the medium of blogging. That seems a better choice than blogging about those ideas and then blaming people for not listening if they don't get it. |