Originally Posted by elucidate
Are you referring to my heart or root chakra or something?
Yes, I see what you are saying. Really all I want to do is paint...every day just paint. That is what would make me happy all the time. I'm miserable because I decided to stop painting years ago and concentrate on getting better (clinical depression).
I decided that painting and being an artist was what was keeping me in the melancholy place that seems to be my nature...and I decided I wanted to be happy, so I gave all that up, even though painting is what makes me happy...even if I'm sad whilst doing it!
Just wanted to offer you a different point of view..
The fact that you were painting while you were clinically depressed made you associate painting with being sad. However, what if those to were just coincidences? That you happened to be sad while painting, and painting itself is not what was making you sad?
Just a question... I know right now you have a part time job... why are you jumping through all these hoops now, instead of dedicating your spare time to painting? Why wanting to learn teaching English if Painting makes you happy? Why live in Asia, if painting makes you happy? Why are you not painting if that is what makes you happy?