| | Paradigm Shift
Questions I have been asking myself lately are:
Why am I so mean to myself and my body?
My body houses my soul, carries me everywhere and allows me a physical presence and I abuse it. I am mean to it and I punish for not being perfect. I spend so much time and money hurting myself and then get angry that my body won't perform at optimum level.
I am starting to move my focus away from weight loss and calories to health. My primary question is now: "Whats best for my body?" So rather than listening to the internal dialogue I look outside myself to meet the need (ie. the meal plan).
So I am working on physically healing and forgiving myself and my body. I have been angry at my body for going through puberty and constantly trying to reverse those changes. Its an old fear based way of thinking that I am gently letting go of.
I am being forgiving of my mistakes and just trying to keep going. My family are wary of my change in attitude because I have said similiar things in the past and then disregarded them during periods of high anxiety. So I am accepting their concern but not buying into it. I am trying to be very honest but I find anytime I do mess up their high anxiety causes them to over react. So I am tending not to try and endlessly placate them and just accept thats where they are at and where I am at. I will make mistakes and they will panic and try and assert control to prevent further mistakes occuring.