Thank you for all the replies and suggestions!
Alvin... I've read several books by vets that have re-adjusted and I found them reassuring--reassuring in the sense that I am not alone in my struggles. My problem seems to be that I just don't know how to get onto the road to recovery. I've tried many suggestions that I've read and also suggestions from the counselors/psychiatrists, but none of them seem to be the magic bullet. I do feel comfortable in the company of soldiers who have similar experiences, but not with the general public.
Adam... I have come to both realizations, but haven't found a way to effectively control my emotions. If I am only slightly anxious, nervous, or irritated I can usually keep my emotions in check, but once it gets past this point I find it very difficult gain control again. Usually periods of extreme uneasiness will last days, weeks, or months until I completely crash and I sort of reset myself.
placebo... I like your suggestion to find new challenges. I have been pushing myself to do just that lately and it seems to help some. I don't know if it's only because I am suppressing my feelings while I am focused on the task at hand, or if it really is helping my situation. Like I said, I have been doing much more work here lately and including more variety in my work as well. I have become what you could call a workaholic. The problem with this is... I only want to be productive. When my significant other wants to just relax for a while it actually irritates me. Not only do I wish I could relax but, at the same time, I also want to occupy my mind with something challenging.
Before all of this happened, I was one of those people who would tell someone like myself to just get over it and that it is all controllable. So, I find it very ironic that I am on the other side now. I just wish I could find a way to effectively control this and start enjoying life again.
Thank you again for your replies!  |