Originally Posted by butterflyeffect
Someone please help. I feel like I'm silently drowning in this Ed. I just want to get better. I do all the right things and keep showing up and complying, so why won't my body recover? Please, please body work with me. I've fought to hard to get to this point to give up now. Giving up is not an option.
Maybe you could just...give up.
That is, surrender. Allow yourself to acknowledge it's positive purposes in you life, rather than focus on the negatives. And then begin asking yourself in what ways you could fulfil those positive purposes that doesn't involve your ED.
Seems like you've set up a frame of massive resistance here (which is very normal), but with that resistance you've got this frame that your ED is something to overcome, something to go against with brute willpower or something.
What if, instead, you used it's own power against it? What are the positive purposes of this ED? How is it helping you to survive/cope with the world? And in what other ways might you serve those positive purposes?