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Originally Posted by Michael Chui  I'd have to disagree with you here, InJoy; it seems to me that you're making the mistake of ignoring the presence of time. |
I don't understand.
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Originally Posted by Michael Chui Here's an assertion: Pain is a natural consequence of experiencing life. Thus, to avoid pain is to avoid life. However, if ZHereford's analogy to physical muscles holds, the experience of pain gives you an opportunity to become more resilient to pain, and thus allowing you to experience more life without pain.
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I don't think that emotional pain is a natural consequence of life experience. I believe strongly that emotional pain is a direct consequence of
thought.
For instance, on the subject of death...
If Aunt Bertha calls to tell me that Uncle Theo is very sick, lots of things will contribute to whether I feel emotional pain over this news. Assuming that I value Uncle Theo's presence on this earth, I have the choice about how I spend my time thinking about this issue. If I worry and think about how he might die before his time, etc., I will almost certainly feel emotional pain. If I think about how I might help my family in this time of need, or if I choose to focus all of my thoughts on my uncle having a full recovery, I'm not likely to feel emotional pain. (For what is in those things to feel pain over?)
Now, let's say I get a phone call tomorrow morning with the news that Uncle Theo died in the night. In fact, he died just as I was writing all of this. Since, as I write, I do not know to think of his loss yet, I will not feel emotional pain. In fact, I am
incapable of having emotional pain over his actual death until I know and can think about the fact that he is gone.
Even after I've learned of his death, it is my thoughts that will lead me to (or from) emotional pain.
I will miss him. I didn't get to say goodbye. He was mad at me the last time we spoke. He was too young to die. And on and on. Those are the things that will make me feel emotional pain. Not the death itself. The death itself is neutral. I know this because the readers here (for instance) couldn't care less that my (fictional) Uncle Theo just died. You have no thoughts about him personally that would lead you to feel emotional pain at his passing. There might be a smattering of folks who allow such thoughts as "it could have been MY uncle who died", and they might feel emotional pain, but again, that is a result of their thoughts.
If anything I've said leads you to believe that I am suggesting we avoid emotional pain by
ignoring it, then I am not being clear. That is not even close to my point, and for the record, I do not think that approach works. What I'm saying is that emotional pain seems to have no real function for survival or prosperity in life. Therefore, it makes sense to me that I should find ways to avoid thoughts that lead to emotional pain. In fact, it makes even more sense that I should
gravitate toward and practice thoughts that bring me joy, since joy
does have function in a prosperous life.
This is, in fact, what I spend a great deal of my energy practicing now. However, I have not mastered it.
Yet.
Btw, thank you for the stimulating discussion. I learn so much from this type of thought.