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butterflyeffect · 08-18-2010, 11:15 AM

Why is it that people say things like,

"I know you don't believe me when I say .."

"You hate positive feedback.."

"You'll hate me for saying this.."

How is that someone outside of me could know how I am going to react? I can sometimes be predictable but not always.

I do like compliments, encouragement, recognising how lucky I am, being grateful, growing and inspiring others, making a difference and growing taller.

Is it possible that maybe they don't like those things and project it onto me.
So for example, instead of acknowleding I don't like my current size, I project that anyone else at my size must hate their weight and avoid talking about it. Really, I can't know unless I ask or observe.

I am going to make a conscious effort to make "I" statements. I found its easier to discuss things with the distance of reffering to something outside, like, they, you, us, we rather than I. E.g. "Say you are scared of gaining weight from your meal plan" becomes, "Say I am scared of gaining weight from my meal plan."

By saying I and using personal pronouns I own my thoughts and feelings. I take responsibility.

So I am struggling to adjust to being at home and following my meal plan. I want to be better now and buying into those thoughts causes me anxiety.

I am choosing to follow my meal plan and forgive myself for making mistakes.
I am prepared to admit to the dietican when I make mistakes and not hide it. I am prepared to feel uncomfortable during the process.

Why do people make such funny assumptions. Like that I would hate compliments or praise. That I won't eat foods they cook or listen to things they have to say. Or that I dislike being reminded of the many ways that I'm lucky.

Well, I don't mind being complimented, I like it. It matches what I already know. I'm special. I'm g

Why should I hate being reminded of how lucky I am?

08-18-2010, 11:15 AM	#146 (permalink)
butterflyeffect Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Sydney Australia Posts: 801	Positive feedback Why is it that people say things like, "I know you don't believe me when I say .." "You hate positive feedback.." "You'll hate me for saying this.." How is that someone outside of me could know how I am going to react? I can sometimes be predictable but not always. I do like compliments, encouragement, recognising how lucky I am, being grateful, growing and inspiring others, making a difference and growing taller. Is it possible that maybe they don't like those things and project it onto me. So for example, instead of acknowleding I don't like my current size, I project that anyone else at my size must hate their weight and avoid talking about it. Really, I can't know unless I ask or observe. I am going to make a conscious effort to make "I" statements. I found its easier to discuss things with the distance of reffering to something outside, like, they, you, us, we rather than I. E.g. "Say you are scared of gaining weight from your meal plan" becomes, "Say I am scared of gaining weight from my meal plan." By saying I and using personal pronouns I own my thoughts and feelings. I take responsibility. So I am struggling to adjust to being at home and following my meal plan. I want to be better now and buying into those thoughts causes me anxiety. I am choosing to follow my meal plan and forgive myself for making mistakes. I am prepared to admit to the dietican when I make mistakes and not hide it. I am prepared to feel uncomfortable during the process. Why do people make such funny assumptions. Like that I would hate compliments or praise. That I won't eat foods they cook or listen to things they have to say. Or that I dislike being reminded of the many ways that I'm lucky. Well, I don't mind being complimented, I like it. It matches what I already know. I'm special. I'm g Why should I hate being reminded of how lucky I am?