[CamC]

Originally Posted by bettyboo11

Hello everyone! I'm not reallyyy new here, but I'm posting something of an intimate nature and my other name is my alias all over the net..I'm just a little bit shy to post through that account. So I apologize for looking like a hit-and-runner..ie just breezing through to get help, and then you never hear from me again. :P That's not the case..I'm an avid reader of the Pavlina's blogs.

Anyways, I have googled this subject to no avail. I figured people here could give me some wisdom regarding it.

Lately I've been having feelings of extreme envy over something very shallow..other people's (namely girls, since I'm a 23 year old girl myself) looks. I've been having extremely low confidence lately in every area of my life, and yet somehow I find myself obsessing over such shallow things.

I read fashion magazines and look at celebrity fashion pictures all over the internet.. I look at pretty girls' pictures on their blogs or through social networking sites.. I tell myself that I am just interested in keeping up with fashion (although I dont have the confidence or MONEY to wear anything they do), but every time I look, I feel a sick jealous feeling in the pit of my stomach.. a feeling that I will never be as pretty or perfect as any of the hundreds of girls I am looking at.

I believe in the law of attraction and jealously is one of the worst feeings in the world..and I'm feeling it far too much as of late. It is so shallow and so petty..I know! But in today's culture, there is so much pressure to look like a model.. and I'm in an environment (college..sigh) where all the girls really do look like models. Heck, my own roommate is a part-time model.

I also feel like I wouldn't be so jealous if I didn't have a boyfriend. I love him and I've been with him for 5 years now, but he is much more image-conscious than me. He dresses better, takes better care of his body, and he says I'd be gorgeous (but says I look beautiful just the way I am) if I cared a bit more about how I looked.

and ALSO, I'm sorry this is so complex =X.. I think I would feel guilty if I took the plunge and became a "Hot Girl"... spent endless hours putting on makeup, straightening my hair, shopping, accessorizing, working out..although my jealousy obviously indicates that these are things I would like to do... I would feel guilty because I care deeply about social justice and things like that.

It feels like such a priviledge of the rich to spend time beautifying yourself. And how could I wear jeans that I know could feed a third world family for a year? Actually, my current comfy, albeit plain clothes could probably do the same..I live a very typical middle-class existence..but somehow being beautiful just makes it seem more disparate, between their suffering and my luxury.

I don't want to be vain..but the very act of so jealous makes me vain, I know.

Bleh..I am so tired of feeling this way..I just want to get over these feelings and move on with my personal/spiritual development. Has anyone else had these feelings.. any support or advice would be so much appreciated.

Thank you in advance!

sounds like your letting irrational guilt hold u back from doing what u know you want. how u look and take care of yourself says a lot about who you are. Ignore the guilt, and enjoy your lfe. Guilt is a negatve emotion, so feeling it is NEVER a good thing, period.