My experience with forgiveness is...
forgiving someone is more beneficial to you than it is to the person you are forgiving
forgiving someone doesn't mean condoning their actions, it is more coming to terms with who that person really is and accepting it for what it is.
I was angry (and angry is not a strong enuf term) with an ex for the abuse he inflicted on me. After much reflection, I realized that I was equally (or maybe more so) angry with myself for picking him in the first place and for putting up with it for so long. I gave a lot of myself that I didn't get back in return. I felt cheated. I wanted him to realize how hurtful he had been, I wanted him to be sorry. I never got that from him... But at some point, I realized that I chose that situation and after much reflection I understood why and what I learned from it. I realized that I gave my best to the situation and ultimately so did he, although it was not what I had anticipated. Then I was able to forgive myself and him as well. Being able to forgive him is one of the best things I have ever done for myself and it has become much easier for me to forgive because of this experience. It is definitely a process that you will have to work through, but worth the effort it takes.
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