Really awesome post right here, I'm going to print it out and study it again.
Quote:
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Never criticize, condemn or complain. People very rarely criticize themselves, no matter how wrong they may be. Your criticism will not be welcome. Criticism puts others on the defensive, hurts self-esteem and builds resentment.
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A way of critisizing others without actually putting them into a difficult spot is explaining there problem from your perspective. In other words instead of saying;
You do this and this wrong
You say;
I've always done this and this wrong and
this is how I solved it.
Don't even hint thats it about them. If they have half a brain than they'll start thinking about it although they might not say it.
This is in line with the rest of the text, the goal is to help HIM discover how to improve himself. You are not part of the equation here, the goal is to help him not yourself. Although you might get something back unexpected because of this. If you don't get anything back from this its fine as well, it only costs you words and some time.
This has to be done subtle, its basically a way of getting past there own defenses so you can help them out, another way is asking questions why they are doing certain actions. Asking questions however can quickly become offensive if your getting to personal.