Quote:
Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}  in my mind and heart I still feel bitterness and pain. That's not the way I want to be.
Thanks! |
Hey, Aspiring! Good for you for having the courage to work this through 'out loud' so to speak. As your mirrors, it's fun for us to work through our corresponding issues along with you.
You don't want to be pain, you say. What
do you want to be? In my experience it has worked better to actively be a positive than to avoid being a negative. As long as you're identifying with your pain, you are living in the past, which is a fantasy. How about living powerfully right here and now? Including when you're with Mr. Butthead. When you're with him, is your pain appropriate? Is he kicking you in the shins, or chewing with his mouth open? In the face of being bitter and pained, do you think you might like to try invoking "x"? ("x" being your heart's desire. You might need to take some time to think about what your heart's desire is, and chances are it will apply not only to your relationship but to all areas of your life.) You might want to use a codeword for when you slip into your habitual pain and wish to remind yourself to be your heart's desire. (I recommend to you the codeword, "aspire!" because it means 'to breathe life upon' and it is who you are.)
As far as forgiveness goes, you may want to consider that there might be a more immediate person who would benefit from your forgiveness than Mr. Butthead*, and forgiving that person first smoothes the way for all forgiveness.
I'm looking forward to hearing what people say about forgiveness.
*this name is used to protect the innocent and to amuse the OP. No disrespect to persons living or
dead intended.