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Lauxa · 07-31-2010, 08:49 PM

So... I've been going through a real low point recently. Around the beginning of the summer I was on the top of the world. Just thinking "I am not happy" would put a smile on my lips and a spring in my step. I was feeling like I had "state management" nailed and wanted to try manifesting for some other things.

So I went for travel. Well, I ended up quitting my job and with the new flexibility I've been taking lots of trips this summer, with an amazing 1 week family camping trip to Colorado coming up next week. And somehow the travel didn't really make me feel more happy. In fact, it's really pretty stressful. And when I get stressed, I kind of shut down and withdraw from the world. And I've been going through some real counter-productive thoughts like it's just not worth it, and I give up. And of course all my "gremlins" have come swarming out in full force and the affirming voices are having a hard time keeping up with them.

But I think I've finally found a lever, which is "facing my fears". And so my new negative affirmation for now is going to be "I am not willing to face my fears" ... because I think this lack of WILLINGNESS is what prompts the shutdown and escapism.

Thanks for listening, and I could use some encouragement right now if you care to send some my way.

07-31-2010, 08:49 PM	#53 (permalink)
Lauxa Family Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,545	So... I've been going through a real low point recently. Around the beginning of the summer I was on the top of the world. Just thinking "I am not happy" would put a smile on my lips and a spring in my step. I was feeling like I had "state management" nailed and wanted to try manifesting for some other things. So I went for travel. Well, I ended up quitting my job and with the new flexibility I've been taking lots of trips this summer, with an amazing 1 week family camping trip to Colorado coming up next week. And somehow the travel didn't really make me feel more happy. In fact, it's really pretty stressful. And when I get stressed, I kind of shut down and withdraw from the world. And I've been going through some real counter-productive thoughts like it's just not worth it, and I give up. And of course all my "gremlins" have come swarming out in full force and the affirming voices are having a hard time keeping up with them. But I think I've finally found a lever, which is "facing my fears". And so my new negative affirmation for now is going to be "I am not willing to face my fears" ... because I think this lack of WILLINGNESS is what prompts the shutdown and escapism. Thanks for listening, and I could use some encouragement right now if you care to send some my way.