[John Freestone]

Originally Posted by themaster

Yah, it's hard to talk about now.. when it feels like you can't be yourself..

Not sure if you mean you or me, but you probably mean it feels like I can't be myself. That's fine, no offence taken. "It seems" is a useful phrase. I can be myself. I am myself. Your fantasies don't really bother me.

This text alones seems like you carefully wrote it so you wouldn't upset anyone.. and yah, I understand that.. but still it feels like it's less effective to get to your feelings and emotions..

Maybe. I don't care. There are things to express that aren't emotion.

Nothing wrong with that.. I think you want some spiritual growth..

Why? I've already spent a good amount of my time telling you that if I wanted therapy, I'd find a therapist (that means, not you), and I don't believe in spirits, so spiritual growth doesn't feature on my map of reality. Short answer, you're wrong, again, about me.

You know John.. you don't have to say why.. but the biggest thing you could ever explain is..

What happened to you that made you call "new age" a lie?
You see John.. I'm not like you in the idea that.. if I spent a 100 years working on the "theory of relativity" or 100 years just running a grocery store and one day I go "this work is bad/crazy I'm going to forget I ever did this and call this "bad" and never do it again"

See I just wouldn't do that.. and I think that's what you did.. yes?

No.

You see you don't prana breath anymore right? You don't practice reiki anymore right? You've got some sort of negative label on it yes?

No. No. And not really. In fact I could say that I do some calm deep breathing, but now have the valuable insight that I'm not breathing in prana. I could give someone loving touch and also benefit from the advanced knowledge that ki (prana) has been demonstrated as a false concept scientifically, repeatedly. I could even go as far as to say this: that, in my advanced state of personal development I can enjoy the feeling of energy concentrated in my 'tanden', or the heat in my hands, yet separate this, which I know to be a subjective condition arising from suggestion, from the reality of the situation. I can enjoy samadhi, in that same enlightened condition, rather that placing the vast cosmic interpretation on it that I used to. Does that help?

I would never invalidate my work like that

Jolly good. As you can see (possibly), nor have I.

"100 years of relativity work.. holy f#$%^#$ poppycock! How could I waste my time like that!"

I would actually say..

"Well, that was fine and nice.. time to be moving on and taking this valid experience with me"

Yip. It did take a while to value the positive in it, and there was a certain amount of disappointment and regret that I'd wasted a lot of time dreaming and holding fantastic beliefs as real, yes, but I soon got over that.

These are two very separate statements to what I think you did John.. you invalidated the work you were doing on yourself and the progress you were making and you can see above I offered some examples of how to validate what you were working on..

And as you can see, your continued extrapolation of your incorrect prejudice is backfiring yet again. I hope you're learning.

Of course this is all supposition so why don't you tell me what really happened? Do you still say that reiki and pranic breathing are good things? Do you still do them today?

See above.

That's your call John.. and I'm okay with that.. I admit that if I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing right.. then you talking with me.. is going to cause "negative" emotions in you.. not cause I'm trying to insult you but because.. you have beliefs and definitions in the way of being like me.. and I'll bring those out of you..

But I don't want to be like you, so those things that you see as 'beliefs and definitions in the way of being like' you are to me highly valuable.

Not really, John.. after all I don't know you right?

Right. Perhaps you could use that information more, before you post your 'suppositions'. That would avoid you looking like someone with poor judgement (and an ill-fitting username) and me being offended. Yes?

John anyone who talks to me and is fighting for limitations.. and "wrong" ways to be will feel negative.. you're not the first and you'll not be the last..

That's right. I'm not the first, or the last. Nor am I any of those in between. Please note your correct statement above: you don't know me. I'm not fighting for limitations. I think you have all the valuable insights into the 'game' you play now, from several sources (no doubt you think they're all fighting for limitations, whatever that means). Go figure.

I told you in simple terms (now I remember this from our last conversation ) that it was called "jealousy" in a simple form of emotion..

I missed that. You reckon now that I'm jealous of you? Wow. I can't think of any single feature you've demonstrated that I am jealous of. Themaster, wake up. I pity you. The more you project your vision of me as negative, angry, hateful, bitter, fighting for limitations, and now jealous of you, the more I pity you. I think I may have got so used to your inability to judge me and your inability to listen, that I'm not even angered by your continued provocation (although I have to say you're making progress, it's relatively mild now). I just pity you. You wanted to hear my emotions. There you are. I'm very very sorry for you.

Your correct.. and you not being able to explain the reason for your emotions leaves you at a loss.. yes, I understand

I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not at a loss to explain anything, including my emotions. And no, you don't understand. I refer you to your only correct statement so far. You don't know me.