[John Freestone]

I just got news a while ago that my ban was lifted, after mods recognised that I was subject to serious provocation.

Maybe we can learn something, or maybe that's just a lie I tell myself and I'm just addicted. I don't really know why this forum sometimes becomes so fascinating to me. But there are some reasons I feel I should come back for now. Thanks for lifting the ban, and I will try to stick to the rules.

Themaster, hello.

Originally Posted by themaster

Ohh.. I realize in any thread with someone this "negative" that's how you get answers.. but you see I don't mean it..

And I apologize.. sorry, john..

See this is one of those places where I would insult you before, because I get such a strong feeling of dishonesty from you. I glance up and you're talking about someone being "negative" - it could be me. I find your communication broken and hard to follow, and I don't read half of what you write, even in the midst of a brawl with you. You don't seem to care to express yourself carefully, so I don't read carefully. But I pick up on bits.

So, maybe you were talking about someone else. Maybe you judge someone else as negative. Maybe you judge a lot of people as negative. And then, right after your apology, I read...

Melchior.. I call people out on their stuff.. that sometimes means it looks like a insult etc.

...suggesting that you know people's "stuff" and call them out on it, and that "looks like" an insult.

I was very hurt to have my words twisted, in the passages where you repeatedly told me I was angry, hateful, bitter, sad, "leaving" (like ready to die), etc., etc., despite my attempts to correct your view of me. It was even more irritating to know that your view of anything is made up and doesn't have to bear any resemblance to external facts. Only when I express opinions about you are they "fantasy" and you provide me with your "facts".

I was especially hurt because these insults (as I consider them) made me angry, hateful, bitter, sad, and "leaving" (thankfully, just the forum).

I even posted to explain that. And you responded by telling me that no, I was wrong, I was all these things and you, with your "light and life" talk, brought that to the surface. That is, as far as I'm concerned, heaping insult on top of insult. I also posted to remind you that your complaint against me recently was that I don't validate people's views, and how ironic that was, and again, habitually, there you were utterly determined to tell me what my stuff is.

I read on, still wondering how much I can trust your apology, whether you are actually capable of understanding what apology means, whether there is any remorse or learning behind it, and I find...

Yet, if you ask me.. everything I said was true.. until John said "it wasn't true.."

This isn't clear, so I'll skip it, but it adds to my suspicion.

Then I see John is banned.. and I speak up for him..

Did you speak up for me? What you said publicly that I saw was simply to complain about the banning rules generally, as was noted by moonrambler in reply....unless I've missed the speaking up for me bit.

because john's a negative guy

Ah-ha, here we go. John's a negative guy. So there it is, as I expect from you now. It's not a dreadfully bad insult, but it just demonstrates how sincere your apology was earlier. What about trying to validate my opinion, if that's your philosophy? Or at least try to stop reversing it completely every time you comment on me.

One can actually see in this thread that John is afraid of the mods..

Mild insult number two - that I'm afraid. How you can judge my fear is yet another mystery you don't share with the world. It must be a gift I suppose. I can only say that I don't feel any fear of the mods at all, nor do I have any idea where this fantasy of yours came from. I suppose I could be unconsciously afraid of the mods, and your amazing divining skills picked that up.

as was actually rockchick.. a forum where people are afraid to speak their minds..?? sounds a lot like society (yes, that's a joke..)

(for the record if I didn't know how you all "think" I wouldn't go out of my way to label some jokes.. jokes.. just to be on the safe side.. sometimes when I'm joking you all think I'm not)
Yep, that happens..

This looks a bit like youre saying that not only do you know other people's stuff and they are bound to get pissed when you point it out (by reversing their views of themselves), but you're also joking, and that must be clear since you sprinkle smileys all over your posts, so it's obviously other people's fault if they think you're being other than friendly, but maybe you should use more smileys.

I don't play the character of "goodie-goodie" all the time.. I do my best to be myself.. on a forum that can just mean your playing a character.. but I'm not trying too.. trying to be me..

themaster, you are yourself. trying doesn't come into it. you simply are your (possibly very passive agressive) self.

Like this is a conversation I might have on the street.. now people are so angry and so upset and or pissed off.. that actually saying some of the things I do might provoke someone to violence.. in person.. that's true..

The things you do are provocative and, at least emotionally, violent. Is it not possible that you see a lot of angry, negative people because that's what you project (both by expecting it, and by "calling people out on their stuff" in rather unhelpful ways)? Maybe you live in a really bad neighbourhood. Maybe you suffered a lot of anger and violence against you in the past. I don't know, I'm just flagging it up for you, calling you out on your (possible) stuff. It's your stuff, so it's yours to decide whether I'm on to something. Unlike you, if you say not, I'll accept that. I don't even care if you say anything more about it. Your forcing people to do their stuff seems to consist of badgering them - you even said you say things to get a rise out of me.

But the honest thing is there not angry with me.. there angry with themselves..

Possibly...or they're not angry at all...or perhaps they weren't but your negativity and anger is making them angry...which is your anger at yourself. Why is it always just other people, themaster, who are at fault?

Nope, it's why I asked John to come back..

Interesting choice of words. You seem to be almost a habitual economizer with the truth. Did you REALLY ASK for me to come back? I think you mean you COMPLAINED about the banning regs. I get the sense again of the idea of you asking me to come back popping into your head, whereupon, since it's there, it takes on the reality of everything else in there.

I always give a honest reply..

If only you knew the value of doubt. I'm not always honest, just so you know.