[Bitsy]

Hi Jessica,

I was in exactly the same situation as you when I was little. I became an outcast, though I never thought it had to do with a role I had been dealt. After my parents got divorced, when I was 8, I developed asthma and along with my home life, my school experience became increasingly worse. A boy once kicked me in the head when I knelt down to pick up my books after he had pushed me (causing me to drop my books)*. The worst thing, though, was in 7th grade when the girl who had been my best friend since we were at least 2 years old defriended me, came into school one day pretending that she didn't know me and began only to associate with popular girls. Girls also were the nastiest in their teasing and I have never had another girlfriend and I had gotten the idea that girls are just goofy, superficial, flakey airhead-type "personality" persons who, moreover, just didn't like me.

After 8th grade, I transferred to a Catholic school, at least everyone had to wear the same clothes. It was a fair bit better, but after a year, I transferred to yet another school and there I fit into a little group of friends. We called ourselves misfits. Each one of us had very bad family lives/backgrounds. It was quite a fun time though (school, that is).

Some advice, though - never answer accusing questions like "why did they make fun of you". It's silly and betrays a complete lack of understanding, like, "Yes, it was my fault they made fun of me, because I was flat-chested, I really should have had big boobs, and I really should have striven to get D's in English class instead of A's."

What I believe is like what JHL said. Though I was extremely shy and introverted all my life, I believe that my parents' ongoing violent divorce at that time affected me in such a way that I got singled out for ridicule in school.

People say that chickens single out the sick ones among them and peck at them and explain that as what happens in situations of bullying. I never took it seriously, but it seems like people really do have a lot in common with barnyard fowl.

The way I dealt with it, it seems, was to leave the country and American society all together (I couldn't get out fast enough), never wanting to return either, in search of less blind and less superficial societies. But there's got to be an easier way...(take the advice above and use this website)

Once you find your self-identity and accumulate world experiences, concepts like popularity become absurd and petty. It's funny, this past year my high school class had a reunion. On the website, people were still obsessed with popularity - it was inane and boggled my mind, because I thought that went away with life experience.

*Concerning the boy - when my mom got home, she took me to his house nextdoor and he got in trouble with his parents. I can't know for sure, but in retrospect, he might have been beaten by his parents. His father was harsh.