So here is my question about social life and dating – but as framed in an intention manifestation, subjective universe “technology” question.
I tend to suffer from nice-guy-it is; essentially, that every lady I form a relationship with loves me like a brother but not romantically. I’ve currently got 3-4 close lady friends who all basically treat me as their gay man boyfriend – I’m considered ‘safe’ and ‘harmless’ in that respect and they wouldn’t want to date me because they might ‘lose the relationship we have”. It’s an old story. I’ve read plenty about ways to address this objectively – to change personality traits to appear more as a lover choice and less as a friend – so I know that angle and we don’t really need to address it here. Needless to say it isn’t working taking that tack anyway.
My question is: If I’m to reframe my thinking in order to deal with this, how does the subjective universe model fit in? Subjectively the argument is I’m creating this, but the amount of pain I’m dealing with in not having women treat me as romantic partner is so high – and my desire to have this not be this way is so high – I can’t understand where the manifestation comes that cements my universe this way. I seriously am not aware of that much thinking that says “I don’t deserve this” or “it’s a law of my universe that women do not like me in this fashion in this reality” – even though that seems to be the case, in my reality.
So some questions would be:
1. If I’m unconsciously willing this reality, how they heck do you change that? I can change my conscious thought patterns (or at least disrupt negative ones), but I don’t have a clue for the unconscious ones.
2. For what reason could I possibly be willing this horrible experience on myself? Surely, if I’m choosing this subjective reality, there is a benefit to me somewhere? What is the benefit? If I can identify the benefit, maybe I can remodel the thinking.
3. If – here’s the tricky one – I need to work as(paraphrasing Steve’s blog post about Subjective reality and italicizing changes):
“If you want to address the issue of you not being attractive to women in the world, you can only do so by turning within. Go to work on the you not being attractive to women in the world within you, and strive to become a person who is being attractive to women in the world.”
…what the heck do you do when the thing you need to become is so elusive?
This leads to my big question (which has ramifications outside my mundane ‘not getting laid’ issue):
If I subjectively create the world; and I feel a need to change things; shouldn’t I already know how? It’s my universe. Shouldn’t the answers lie within me? And if I don’t have the answers, why is that? AM I stopping myself from finding the answers? Why would I DO such a thing?
I’m a little testy – I met a fabulous woman, who I do amazing work with (we’re a comedy duo), who wants to spend all of her free time with me (dinners, hanging out, chatting, partying) but only as friends (or as me in the gay boyfriend role) – and it’s driving me maaaaaaad and searing with frustration.