Hi Michelle,
Over the past couple of years, I've made a lot of progress letting go of old pain and emotional patterns, using practices taught by Eckhart Tolle. Here are some tips when you notice yourself feeling "pain" in your body:
1. Notice or observe the feeling you're currently labeling "pain," without labeling it or judging it as a "bad" feeling. I've found it very helpful to simply see the feeling as "energy" that is either being resisted, and therefore trapped, or being accepted, and therefore flowing through my body.
2. Note the physical location of the feeling and allow the feeling to be. It may be helpful to think about "accepting" the feeling or "surrendering" your resistance to the feeling. When you're sitting with the feeling, ask yourself, "What am I resisting?" If you feel pain or stress, you're resisting something, even if you're only resisting a feeling that you don't want to accept.
3. As you practice observing and accepting the feeling, notice or observe the space that surrounds you and notice objects within the space, again without labeling, judging or analyzing.
4. As you observe the location of the feeling or energy, imagine you're smiling and greeting it with compassion. It's like you're saying, "Okay, there's a feeling of tightness in my neck. Hello, nice to see you.
It's okay you're here with me right now."
You can find some other helpful pointers at
http://www.bliss-music.com/enlightenment.htm and subsequent posts on that site (I have no connection with the site, but have purchased a CD there and found some of the writings helpful).
Hope this helps.