Lychee, what a very interesting and valid way of looking at it. Gee whizz kyokushin that's a tough one. The thing is though.. that most likely what you say to explain yourself, she is not going to believe you (as you've noticed...). It's by your actions not your words that she believes you. What on earth has happened to this young woman that she's all tightened up like that? The way you describe her she is like a catabout to pounce. It makes sense though for her to understand that as she moved in with you, and you're not flatmates as such, that there's no reason why you could NOT look into a closet if you wanted to. Obviously you do respect her privacy but she got the wrong end of the stick here. It's actually
her doing the avoiding and not being open with you which is a bit ironic. If you really like her it's probably a good idea to say sorry that you upset her, eventhough you know you haven't done a thing. Apologizing for inadvertely setting someone off has a calming effect, it doesn't matter who did what. For your peace of mind it would be nice to get to know her better as to understand her way of thinking better. This way it makes it a heck of a lot easier to live with her. And for heavens sake, redecorate the apartment to your liking if you can please
. No woman would like a man's mothers possessions in her face. Build your own house atmosphere
. (Even if you can't paint etc you can still de-mother it by rearranging and putting your own stamp on it.)
PS: I agree you write really well. It's quite easy to picture the stage.