Ok, well...I'm going to go out on a limb here and write my thoughts based on what I've read.
She believes your viewing her calendar is an invasion of her privacy. I think she is on her guard all, if not most, of the time even with you. You said she doesn't trust many people and from the way that she reacted to this situation, it's clear that she doesn't trust you completely as well. She is paranoid and on the lookout of any sense of betrayal or invasion of her privacy. It may be that her independence is a sign of her identity and she doesn't want to lose it. It may be that throughout her life she let people in but she was betrayed or hurt in one sense or another, and she has heightened her sense of danger towards her well-being by catching little nuisances which may not mean much at all. She was not arguing over just the calendar. She was arguing over something greater which is her sense of identity (which includes her independence and privacy). She doesn't want to be hurt again and she was trying to protect herself.
Everyone is unique. Her evaluation of your uniqueness or lack thereof has nothing to do with who you really are. IMO, she is very hurt and on guard all the time, and her moving in with you (according to her) was a huge step of trust. She thought when you looked at her calender that you didn't trust her and that shattered her trust for you. She is not used to opening herself completely to others and by moving in with you, she made herself very vulnerable. Maybe she hasn't let herself be vulnerable in a very long time so she was on the look-out for any red flags that might indicate that you might hurt her or disrespect her in anyway. Perhaps this "independent woman" persona has worked for her for so long she strives to keep that identity a part of her because she learned to protect herself.
Why did you quit your job?
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