Hmm. Y'all seem to be mostly talking about visual porn, especially photographs of women. But there is so much more in the etheric! My favorite is erotic or just plain dirty literature -- for some reason, what arises in the words turns me on more than looking at photos (which also works for me.) Either way, I see it as kind of a favor I can do for Danger Man -- it revs up my engine ahead of time so he can just start driving.
Would the OP be as disturbed if her lover was reading porn, as opposed to watching videos or magazining? It's possible that his imagination might conjure a fantasy creature that is even more impossible to live up to than the 19 year old airbrushed and anal-bleached porn star. Would that make the OP feel less threatened? Amazingly, I agree with Dr. Gonzo that a pornshare and letting go of the inner talk is a good idea to help dissipate the anxiety and heat up the relationship. (I would recommend acknowledging and letting go of the threatful little voice ("thanks; see ya"), as opposed to telling it to "shut the *** up", just because sometimes the little voice is "fed" by a response that has emotionally charge.)  |