| | Change of Identity
I feel a major shift in my identity since changing my enviroment. I have removed all the thinspiration and replaced it with pictures of myself before my illness and then also pictures of individuals my age group who are well. I keep reminding myself of my goals and its working.
When I look at the photos, I think thats me, that is where I am going to be. The Ed still comes into my thoughts but its lacking force now, its an irratation. The thoughts surrounding food are just that thoughts. I am still struggling a bit but now I am eating lots of fruit. Admittedly, I am stuffing myself with fruit. I am still trying to find a balance and eat normal meals and 2 pieces of fruit a day, but its progress. The sort of progress that won't go away if I stop focusing on it. I am working with my body. I love my body. I have developed a deep appreciation for my body. I have become so aware of my body and and Im trying to trust it. I am listening when my stomach gets swollen and sore and stop eating. I am not putting processed foods in my body.
The big challenge for me now is to incorporate more foods into my diet, I am currently eating strawberries, rye bread, cherries and tuna sushi. The occassional pieces of lindt chocolate, read 100g. Its tricky because my stomach is so volatile after the abuse it doesn't want anything heavy so I am seeing a doctor in a few weeks to help me diagnose what is actually going on in my tummy and how to fix it.