My darling Eating Disorder,
I don't miss you one bit. In fact I desire to be rid of you. To be completley healthy. You make a walking mockery of me and I'm tired of it.
I have my sights set high. I want to be well. I want to glow with health. Proccessed foods have lost their appeal but the dangerous obsession with thin still lingers. Its fine tight rope I'm walking, I want a career of beauty and thinness yet I refuse to play your games? Ironic hey. Ultimatley, the career will win out. I want to have that career. I need to have that career. I hope you understand dear one, but not even you can get in my way.
Next semester I am going back to university. I want to study and do well. No more anxiety. Your free to go. Off along your merry way. I've joined the Meditation group on Mondays, so I have communal support now. Its always helped in the past, why should it stop now?
I want to take up photography. I want to take the beautiful pictures I adore. So I need to get working on finding a basic course, 1 day a week at the local tafe. Nothing to complex but something to allow me to further explore my interest. I know for a while there, you worried I would not be a success. There was no need. I will always succeed. Just because I stumble along the way doesn't mean I'm any less determined. Rather it acts to strengthen my resolve.
Your not part of my identity anymore. We're no longer a package deal. I'm not even an avaliable deal. I want to be well, I want to be thin, I want to be happy. Processed foods made me miserable, so did avoidance and exams.
Im going to reach my goals. Its just a matter of time. The world needs help, I want to show people that they have it wrong. You don't have a happy ending to an unhappy journey. Its only by loving yourself that you can heal. I love you and I appreciate all you have taught me but I am moving on. Where Im going, I recognise the person in the mirror.