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Originally Posted by Sunnybayes  I really want to give some good advice, but tell us a little more details so that we have a better idea of how to help you out. |
The legal meetings we have are collaborative, which means that my STBX (soon to be ex) and I sit down with our lawyers to discuss the property division. There is an immense amount of stress just in that. My STBX is very emotionally immature and very angry, so i spend a lot of time in these meetings listening to him blame an cut me down. Most of my energy goes into not responding to his negative comments, which in itself is very draining. He really has been treating me as sub-human, preventing me from getting my personal belongings from the marital home, telling lies and cutting me down to anyone who will listen, trying to drag me into an argument whenever he comes to get the kids, refusing to pay child support, etc. Unfortunately, those things are affecting me.
Legal meetings last a maximum of 2 hours. The format is generally that we each outline what our priorities are for the session, information is gathered and we try to hammer out some sort of agreement. If it weren't so contentious it wouldn't be that bad. I typically leave the meetings feeling unheard and as though the process is not working for me in any way.
After the meetings I am always exhausted and angry. I spend the next 24 hours or so trying to recuperate as though I had been physically ill. It's almost like a mix of exhaustion and depression. I wish my coping mechanisms were a little better so that I don't lose quite so much productivity because I'm wrapped up in the stress and anger that these meetings- or any other "run in" with my ex cause.
So, that's a little more info. I appreciate your attempts at helping me.