[DoAnyOfYouExist]

Lately I have been thinking of quitting my habitual marijuana use, which has been going on since Junior year of highschool (I am 23). I get home from work and hear from my sis about a friend who came over recently, while I was at work. He had said he quit smoking mj and got a good job making 12.50 an hour. I thought this was a sync.

Then a friend is over and we are smoking a blunt. As he is leaving he sees that my sister and her friend are going to go work out at the gym. Friened exclaimed "What's up with the free pass?" I have had getting in shape and taking better care of my body on my mind for awhile now but alot this week.

So we talk about starting to hit the gym and eat better. Through my whole life I have skipped breakfast, usually lunch and just eaten dinner. Maybe some days a snack here or there throughout the day. Sometimes I eat really late dinners and a few snacks through the night. I feel I have been starving myself and it needs to stop.

There was a point during Jr/Sr year of highschool and two years of college where I lifted weights atleast three to five times a week. I maintained a weight of 185. I am six foot two and last time I checked, which was a two to three weeks ago, I weighed 150. I have noticed it in the mirror and the reflection in my window at night. I can see my ribs slightly and if I suck in a lung full of air it is just not pleasing to look at.

So I get up to heat up the left over half of my meal from two o'clock, which was the first meal of my my day(Burger King =/ also been contemplating going vegetarian). I freeze up at the microwave buttons for a moment as if they foreign to me. On the T.V. in the living room the T.V. show "Scrubs" is on. Definately one of my favorite shows on T.V. full of great insights and lessons, along with great humor. If Buddha were here now I think he would enjoy it, but thats just my opinion.

Anyways I freeze up and hear one character, Carla say to another, J.D. "Aww you freeze up again Bambi?" J.D. is off in his head alot and occasionally goes a little blank in the face. I thought this way another nice little wink from the universe a little sync if you will, with some humor.

Then I think about quitting my herb smoking and I hear almost in my voice, just slightly different tone or presence to the sound, "Yes! Drop it, Drop it, Drop it!" On Sunday I read a book on Zen by Osho and this was one of the things the Buddha had said to a king in a parable.

Now earlier today I had sent out a mental plea to Jesus, Buddha and Mohammad. I said that I respected each of them and stated why and asked them to guide me and help me to become a better person, more capable of helping those around him.

So I asked if Buddha had helped me. I got a reply "Yes" I am not saying one way or another wether I made this conversation up in my head all alone or if Buddha had given me guidiance, but I did humbly thank Buddha and agreed to quit smoking and get in shape.

So I heat up my food and eat. After eating I get up for a glass of water. Out of the kitchen bay window I notice a beautiful light orange rose that has come into bloom. I just have to smell it and tell it how beautiful it is and give thanks to it and sing it a litttle song, I think to myself. I go out to smell it and notice a wonderful baby praying mantis on one of its petals.

About 6 days ago I placed mantis egg pods in my garden on the other side of the yard. I have noticed no mantis in the garden or anywhere else for that matter until now(and I was hanging out in the garden earlier smoking a blunt). I smell the rose and although my nose is slightly congested(always is for me) it smells subtle yet divine. I stand there a good five minutes just admiring the rose and the mantis. I tell the rose how beautiful it is and how much I appreciate it. I thank it with a song to sing its praises.

I see myself progressing more clearly and quickly after I get myself clean and healthy. Thanks for reading. All comments and thoughts welcome. I love you guys.