[VetTechJess]

I am speaking from many personal and painful experiences here, so please bear with me...

I have come to a conclusion. The conclusion is that there are roles in society that everyone must play. these roles are not picked out by us, but the very people we associate with. our roles are picked out by none other than our peers.

for some ppl, the roles picked for them are the lucky roles. such as popularity. each role that is picked is a double edged sword so to speak. the popularity picked roles may not feel they can express themselves for fear of having every last word of theirs judged and scrutinized. but im not here to talk about those roles. I am here to talk about the role that was forced upon me by absolutely no choice of my own. I was chosen to play the role of the Reject.

This role was thrust upon me at a very early age. My first real experience with the role of Reject was in the fourth grade. elementary school even! I am a woman, so the rejection was different for me than it would be a male. The rejection started by others not wanting to sit by me. They would give me dirty looks and ignore me.

I then changed schools to a "christian" (note I have that in quotations) school, where I thought my life would be better. I did make about 3 friends there, but alas, the role followed me there. At this "christian" school, I was ostracized, spit upon, made fun of, and felt all alone all the time.

things would only get worse from there before they would get a little better.

I sunk into a mild depression, not caring at all and failing all my classes, thus making me fail the 7th grade. so I changed schools again.

Thats when I hit rock bottom, by no fault of my own.

At this new school, there was 13 ppl including me in the 8th grade. of those 13 ppl, 12....thats right...12 ppl hated and cursed the ground I walked on. I never did anything to these ppl. Turns out they were already a close knit group and had grown up together from kindergarten, and I was considered the Outsider. I was forced to sit alone at lunch, because whenever I tried to sit next to ppl, they got up and moved away. I am sure the teachers saw what happened, but there was nothing they could do about it, what damage was done was done.

So I began to go within myself, as that was one of my only solaces. My other solace was the faerie realm.

Then my cousin michael died and things stayed about the same.

high school was a whole new world for me. I was finally accepted!

but now I am in the work world where this one girl is trying her best to get me fired. she even rammed a bread cart right into my shins causing a huge bruise in the process!! I went thru the motions and filed the accident report etc. but in the end it was no use because I was blamed for it. the other girl had been physically violent before, gave a sob story to management, and got off scott free!!!!!!!!!!!! apparently thats how things work in walmart these days, god forbid you actually blame the perpatrator, nowadays its the victims fault!!!!!!!!!

anyone else had any similiar experiences as the reject? I would like to hear them. dont suggest therapy--been there done that didnt work and was a waste of my time and money.