Smallstar, I am impressed. You managed to, although quite brutally (I am light rather than dark) pinpoint an underlying problem. Perhaps I was not man enough, and I do reflect that I would possibly change that next time. It is often commented I have feminine qualities and I've always seen this as a good thing in a relationship; but I guess there comes a time when one needs to accept their gender and use it to their advantage. It is observable that this person she is probably enjoying at the moment is far more manly, if somewhat less suitable for her in the long run. Also, telling me I lost the game is something quite important to me; I can't possibly know you, but I swear you know me from the way you spoke there.
Additionally, I don't think she's having sex with anyone. This is me overreacting. She spent weeks deciding she would not have sex with me, and it took incredible amounts of willpower on her behalf to the point of her almost being in fits of tears (talk about not listening to your soul). I doubt she would have a paradigm shift that quickly; though nothing's impossible.
Thank you to everyone else as well. You're all speaking truths that I need to hear in order to reinforce them in my mind. I'm currently verging on self pity and I'd rather not get my ego involved as it will cause this pain to last longer. The less time I have to allow my mind to think, the worse this will become; my body and soul are quite balanced at the moment in comparison; I'll go with those.
I'm glad I've found this forum, so thank you, really. There's very little else in my life at the moment that understands things like I do
