Originally Posted by ssandra
Does he get seriously angry at you, or is it play angry?
If he seriously gets angry at you, I'd suggest to him (maybe he'll read this
) to work on his self esteem. It is obvious from everybody here that you absolutely adore him. Just because some guy flirts with you, doesn't mean that 1. you'll leave him or 2. you are even flirting back.
And I do think it is important for you as well to consider not doing things because your boyfriend might get angry at you. But don't them because you know he doesn't like it, and to you it doesn't matter.
Small difference maybe, but the difference between a healthy relationship and an abusive relationship non the less.
Its been a big struggle in my life to see where I put my boundaries in my relationships regarding certain things. Not flirting, but other things. So I understand how this might feel difficult or even impossible, but I know that it isn't. And I also know that a relationship will only improve if you both come from a place of love and connection and not from anger and fear of anger.
thank you Sandra, maybe I have some fears to work through of him being angry at me or not loving me
I know I've had the "if he's angry at me, it means my worth has been lowered as a human being" which used to be an unconscious belief, but now I know it's a belief that was /is causing me problems.
He gets seriously angry. Like I had some bruises on my legs from something (probably bumping into furniture as I walk past it, something that always happened to me)
and he would inspect the bruises wondering if it could have been caused by me doing stuff with another guy.
He'd be really serious looking me in the eye and getting very angry at the possibility of it. But soon enough he calms down and realizes it isn't rational & we hug & everything & everything is better.