Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb
Fine Ruby but I can still have a problem with you accusing me of sexual harassment!
It makes you a victim in people's eyes and me a horrible ogre attacking you.
That's how they see it!
Andrew, I think most people do not see you as some horrible ogre attacking Roxyruby. I know I am not, for sure.
I am seeing somebody being flirty and fun, and another person being very sensitive. I'm seeing this very sensitive person (after a bit of trial and error) standing up for herself.
Now I'm seeing this flirty and fun person being very defensive and even dismissive of the very sensitive person's right to feel whatever it is that she feels....
All in all... I think this is a very simple miscommunication from both sides.
Neither side meant any harm and neither side actually did any harm.
Nobody is a victim here and nobody is a horrible ogre.
I'm applauding Roxyruby for standing up for herself. Not because I think you are a horrible ogre (I'm really starting to like that word!!
) but because I know that that is something she has been having troubles with. So, now when she is doing that, I see it as something positive for HER, not something against you!
I'd agree with you that FOR ME the reaction is entirely over reacting. But... I'm not Roxyruby. And I'm not pretending that I know exactly what she is feeling.
I do have a lot of empathy for her though. When I first started getting involved with the BDSM world and starting to admit that I felt submissive I was also extremely sensitive about everything and anything that I even vaguely perceived as trying to dominate me. Even a sweet and cute joke, or flirty comment would get me all high up in the trees... It takes a while to balance these feelings out.
As I'm understanding Roxy is at the beginning of her journey. As she continues it she will see what is acceptable behavior for her and done towards her and she'll learn how to use better words to describe her feelings.