These (and many others) are examples of invalidation of feelings. And invalidation of feelings IS emotional abuse.
I'm not invalidating your feelings Roxy. I'm stating the facts as I see them: you are overreacting. As in, you are misinterpreting me or the situation and having a reaction that is disproportionate to it.
Now let me critique you in turn as we are being open with our feelings. I think that calling me a sexual harasser like that is aggressive and unpleasant. Dictionary.com
defines harassment as:
| to disturb persistently; torment, as with troubles or cares; bother continually; pester; persecute. |
If I were tormenting you or bothering you continually that would be quite grave and you'd be justified to respond as you did. However, I have called you "beautiful" once and then "my lady" a second time thinking that "my lady" was completely unsexual (playful yes, but I am playful, and this has nothing to do with sexuality - I call men "good sir"). I didn't know you disliked being called that so any crime I've committed is basically ignorance of your boundaries. If I accidentally stumble across your boundaries you correct me and there are no hard feelings.
There is no call to attack me for this.
I hope you can see I care for you as a friend and that I've never had any intention to cross any of your personal boundaries. I am also not attacking you now, I'm simply marking my own boundaries. I don't want to be called a harasser and I'd be glad to call you by whatever name you want, but please don't attack me in the meantime.