Number one is that each person is wholly responsible for his or her own life. We may not be the cause of every single thing that happens to us, certainly a sexually abused child didn't ask to be abused, but we are responsible for how we react. The difference between someone who never again has a healthy sexual experience, and someone who lives a wonderful, sexually fulfilled life, is due entirely their response to the abuse, and that is entirely under their control, even taking into account strong negative conditioning.
However, that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with getting help from others in order to handle your responsibility. It simply means never shifting that responsibility to someone else. If you ask someone for help, you can't blame them if you still fail.
I was a lot more frustrated at the world until I realised this.
Number two is that there's no such thing as failure. Every setback is either an indication that you're on the wrong path, or a clue as to how to walk your current path better.
|