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bettyboo11 · 04-12-2007, 01:27 AM

Dacany,

Hello sweetie.. I see you are having a hard time accepting what other people have said here, even though it's all good advice. I just thought I'd share my experience in case it helps too.

First of all, everyone has their share of fears that they need to overcome in life, so don't feel like a freak for having this fear of death. I have an unnaturally high degree of fear for some situations.. if I am really honest with myself, this is true. But it's all part of the journey to overcome life's challenges, right?

I think a person's fears also change when they grow older, too. I know personally that my set of fears have changed since I was younger. Even though I'm not much older than you (I got 5 years on you tho! =P) When I was really young, I was scared to death of my parents dying or getting sick.. I was just terrified they would leave me because they were my whole world.

Then when I was a little bit older, I was scared of pain. I didn't even mind dying as long as I didn't experience a lot of physical pain.. there are so many ways to suffer.. and all those violent/torture movies in the mainstream don't help either.

Then when at the height of my adolescent ambition, when I wanted to conquer the entire world (mostly for material and social gain, which wasn't the right track anyway).. I was afraid of death too. Death is EVERYWHERE, on the news, around the world, in your neighborhood..even in a prosperous country like the US, it seems like so many people are dying from disease, car and freak accidents, etc.

I'm not sure if I experienced the same level of fear that you did, but eventually these fears just subsided when I realized that thinking/worrying about what if's just isn't productive.

Here are some questions for you to think about:

Are you scared of death in general, or any particular way of dying? Ie disease, car accident.. I suspect those are the most likely ways for an American to die these days. I doubt you are living a high-risk lifestyle.

Are you scared of death because you aren't sure about what happens in the afterlife?

You don't want to die before you "enjoy life." What does this mean to you? Material success? Happiness? Traveling the world? Having a family?

Enjoying life is on a day to day basis. Someone told me once, "How you spend your days is how you spend your life." I know of some people who have lived relatively short lives, but those lives burned with an intensity and passion and they left with a sense of peace. History knows many examples of people like that. You also hear of people who live long lives but are miserable for most of it. Old age alone doesn't mean that someone is enjoying life.

Is this fear/worry of death holding you back in anyway? Are you 'enjoying' life right now? Would you like to spend 80-90 years here feeling the same way you do now? Maybe your worry stems from the fear that you will die before you really start to enjoy life, ie you have a lot of work to do on yourself, development-wise.

Anyways, whatever the case is, I really encourage you to work through it and reflect on it..and overcome it! Life is very precious here, and you are so lucky to be given the chance to live.. good luck!

04-12-2007, 01:27 AM	#15 (permalink)
bettyboo11 Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 38	Dacany, Hello sweetie.. I see you are having a hard time accepting what other people have said here, even though it's all good advice. I just thought I'd share my experience in case it helps too. First of all, everyone has their share of fears that they need to overcome in life, so don't feel like a freak for having this fear of death. I have an unnaturally high degree of fear for some situations.. if I am really honest with myself, this is true. But it's all part of the journey to overcome life's challenges, right? I think a person's fears also change when they grow older, too. I know personally that my set of fears have changed since I was younger. Even though I'm not much older than you (I got 5 years on you tho! =P) When I was really young, I was scared to death of my parents dying or getting sick.. I was just terrified they would leave me because they were my whole world. Then when I was a little bit older, I was scared of pain. I didn't even mind dying as long as I didn't experience a lot of physical pain.. there are so many ways to suffer.. and all those violent/torture movies in the mainstream don't help either. Then when at the height of my adolescent ambition, when I wanted to conquer the entire world (mostly for material and social gain, which wasn't the right track anyway).. I was afraid of death too. Death is EVERYWHERE, on the news, around the world, in your neighborhood..even in a prosperous country like the US, it seems like so many people are dying from disease, car and freak accidents, etc. I'm not sure if I experienced the same level of fear that you did, but eventually these fears just subsided when I realized that thinking/worrying about what if's just isn't productive. Here are some questions for you to think about: Are you scared of death in general, or any particular way of dying? Ie disease, car accident.. I suspect those are the most likely ways for an American to die these days. I doubt you are living a high-risk lifestyle. Are you scared of death because you aren't sure about what happens in the afterlife? You don't want to die before you "enjoy life." What does this mean to you? Material success? Happiness? Traveling the world? Having a family? Enjoying life is on a day to day basis. Someone told me once, "How you spend your days is how you spend your life." I know of some people who have lived relatively short lives, but those lives burned with an intensity and passion and they left with a sense of peace. History knows many examples of people like that. You also hear of people who live long lives but are miserable for most of it. Old age alone doesn't mean that someone is enjoying life. Is this fear/worry of death holding you back in anyway? Are you 'enjoying' life right now? Would you like to spend 80-90 years here feeling the same way you do now? Maybe your worry stems from the fear that you will die before you really start to enjoy life, ie you have a lot of work to do on yourself, development-wise. Anyways, whatever the case is, I really encourage you to work through it and reflect on it..and overcome it! Life is very precious here, and you are so lucky to be given the chance to live.. good luck!