 Not sure who said it, but I heard it from my therapist
We were discussing a conflict I was having with my spouse. She encouraged me to ask him about his perspective rather than just assume I already knew and understood his feelings and motivations.
She said, "Be curious, not furious." Since then, if I'm ever in a situation where I'm seething with anger toward someone I remind myself of that little quote and it usually helps me bring a little humor to the situation so that I'm willing to leave my corner and approach the other person to learn what's going on with them.
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