I wasn't sure if this thread should go in this 'Character and Contribution' under 'finding and living your purpose' or 'Personal effectiveness', but it ended up here.
As far as my history goes, I'm still 16, nearly 17, so still young - ish. Fortunately for me, I've been gifted with great musical abilities in life, everything about how I do things can be related to this in some way, In my learning styles at school I was classed as a 'musical learner', they also did some tests and they found I had an inability in my Visual STM, I think I can remember 3 pieces of visual stimuli compared to the average 7, however they also said my auditory memory was far above average, holding about 11 auditory stimuli, I also cream all my friends at Singstar. lol.
So you can sort of see my path or purpose must have something to do with music, its basically my forte or what have you.
I never really got into music straight away but about the age of 7, I started learning to play the Sax, then eventually I gave it up, not because I wasn't any good but for some stupid reason. I eventually came back to it when I was 13, got myself a good teacher (not one of you crappy ones that just makes you do grades, he's a Ska Musician). I also started playing guitar in my own free time.
After a few months, everyone was singing my praise, my sax teacher said I could easily be a musician if I wanted, as did most of my friends and family. Also I don't think I've been brought up in a family where they just keep me encouraged by telling me I'm great. If they didn't think I was any good, I don't think they'd say anything.
But then I started to tire, things became very stagnant, I got bored, like now (I'm nearly 17) I still play -rarely. If you heard me play, you'd most likely appreciate the fact that I'd been playing for 4 years around, but I practice maybe- once a month, sometimes little bursts, I haven't spoken to my sax teacher since last summer. If you squished my total playing time, it would most likely be about 4 months worth of practice to the average saxophonist. I can play guitar to a good standard also now, hardly do play it anymore but yeah.
I often look at other people and wish I had their ability, I was looking at some of Michaelangelo's work in Florence while I was in Italy last year and I could only dream. Of course I could go off and be a sculptor if I wanted, but I have decided in life, whatever path I follow, I want to be the best there is in it. I don't have any innate ability for art of that description especially as I have a weak visual memory, so it would be pointless pursuing that passion
So you see a dilemma occurring. I know deep down that If if I don't use the talent I have now, I will certainly regret it. Should I choose something else I have passion for and let my innate ability for music wander unfulfilled for eternity?
If I want to be the best at whatever I do in life, I'm going to have to use the natural ability I have, I don't really have any others as strong or as prevalent as my musical ability, it's like my whole potential is geared towards that.
Will passion come with time? What to do? Why do I constantly have no passion for something I should naturally have lots of passion for? *cry*
Also, I never took music for GCSE, in fact, I don't think my public school ever taught it. Now I regret not taking that, I'm following mostly science at AS, even though I know I should be doing music, art and English with poetry. But I don't have the courage to drop back a year.
