I have tried over the weekend not talking about my Eating Disorder, it was horrible. My family would have been relieved, they are over it and don't want to here about it. I prefer acknowledging it at this point although I will probably lose interst in that soon too.
I can see that personifying the illness does seem strange but for me its quite normal. I can tell you what Ed looks like, which chair he sits in and what he wants for me and I what I want for myself. It may seem like a way to give power away but for me it gives me my power back. I will sit and think
'Do I want this? Or does Ed want this?'
It allows me the separation and clarity to deal with the issues. My therapist taught me to see it that way, I had one chair and Ed had the other and we would separate my thoughts from his. It took a while to master it but its a really helpful tool and it allows me to develop myself as separate from the illness, previously it felt like I was the illness.
All the above being said I do find that reccently I don't about Ed much at all. I just notice it and ignore it and continue with my day, there is the struggle at times but mainly its just in the background the last couple of weeks.
Its interesting I have lost interest in food lately, I do find it boring. I eat when Im hungry and I'm less picky about it. I don't fear it and the obsession with food shopping has dropped off, I find it dull. I have lost interest in processed foods, too bright and fake and im more into shopping lately for books and clothes.
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