 Depression and low-self esteem
Unfortunately there is no magic bullet for depression. I would suggest seeing a therapist. Many are quite effective. I think that it is very common to feel out of place in junior high through college. And many colleges offer free counseling.
Have you read Steve's writings on school, productivity, photoreading, etc? You may find some inspiration there. One thing I learned in college (eventually) ...beating myself up does not make me smarter or work harder. In fact, quite the opposite. I know it is easier said than done, but try to relax and enjoy who you are where you are. You are on the same team as the "really genius" people... how great to be in such an inspired place!
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