Hi Butterfly effect
I have a history of 27 years compulsive eating and I really recognise all the analysis you keep doing about your ED plus the very ambitious ideals you have for how you want to be.
I am exiting it all now and hopefully I can help you with my story.
I only recently started going to an ED group - initially it felt great - look, everyone understands me! but there was a real ethos of 'you can come out of this, but it takes years of really hard work and therapy'. At the same time I was doing alot of manifesting financial security , reading about LOA etc which was really really working. The 2 were really jarring in my mind so I thought Id try applying LOA to my ED
last week I hit quite a low point of just eating insanely, feeling very fat and low self esteem. In this forum someone told me about the grounding cord for dealing with general anxieties.
I googled this and found these resources How to Create a Grounding Cord During Meditation | eHow.com
and YouTube - New Pleiadian Essential Daily Practices SOLARA AN-RA
I tried these and they felt really quite amazing
I play around with the grounding cord meditation - for example anxious thought just crowd my head when I wake up, so I imagine myself lying on a lilo on a amazing blue sea, visualise my need to eat complusively and all the self limiting crap as pebbes in my intestines then the grounding cord opens and down they all rattle into sea bed.
At this point I am totally empty of any beliefs, so I use the idea of the sun or light from above to give me the beliefs i want to have:
I eat slowly
Food is only food, it can't do anything more
Food is boring
I am OK leaving food on the plate
It's like the light shines all over me and I self instruct with these beliefs
It took me a while to actually be specific about these instructions and I still sometimes fight them especially the 4th one. I think it's important to persevere even if you feel uncomfortable with them - my thinking is that if you keep self instructing while in a state of deep relaxation
your mind will accept these beliefs
notice also these instructions are simple and practical rather than end goals - they allow me to cahnge my actions in the here and now.
I find that if i do these first thing they have a profound effect on my eating in the day - like it is just easier to control my eating. And now i have made the decision to not go back to the ED group, because I cannot honestly say i define myself as someone who has an ED.
I hope you will have ago at these. I have still not made up my mind about whether LOA exercises like these versus therapy etc is the answer to ridding yourself of an ED, but I like the idea of trying out a belief to see.
BTW I disagree with steves post about the past equalling the future - i posted in that thread about that article. LOA means you have a greater control over your future than you could have ver dreamt possible