@James: Ok, I can finally see the connection. The idea behind the ED and the driving force is initially the belief that doing all these behaviors and losing weight will bring you the inner fufilment your looking for. Then when you do look around you realise that its not true. It lied, its never going to make you happy, bring you friends or wealth or anything positive. All the goals you set and visualised the ED making come true are not possible with the ED around. Its then that the sadness sets in, the guilt and the upset.