My Reflection on the Day.
WOW, this has been another crazy day. It doesn't matter which action is taken just that ACTION IS TAKEN. I'm really glad that I was able to do so much today. I think that in the past, I might have been expecting myself to do EVERYTHING at once....achieve ALL my goals, make millions of dollars, ect. all in one day, but I really am seeing that taking a step by step process to doing things is the way to get something as HUGE and MONUMENTAL as what I'm doing right now.
Yesterday, I had a lot of excitement and ideas bursting and that was expected, I usually start all my projects off that way. However, what I DIDN'T expect for me to do today was to actually follow through on day 2. I wouldn't say that my "motivation" increased per se, rather, my persistence increased probably about ten-fold and I just REALLY stepped up. I can say that I truly did. Even though the day isn't over yet, I'm not AS worried as I'd normally be because I know that I have the discipline to do what needs to be done. A couple of days ago, I didn't have this. I could barely get my lazy ass to get up and do something.
I was just living a passive life and HOPING in a wishy-washy way that things would be different. Honestly, back then, I didn't care if everything fell apart. I saw myself slowly pissing away my life - my time, my dreams, my ambitions, and I just didn't care about it. I was letting myself piss away destiny but still unsatisfied at everything.
I know that this sounds like I've "completely changed", but I wouldn't say that ALL my habits have changed, rather, I've just had a self-induced paradigm shift.
I've realize that *Action REALLY is the antidote to despair*.
Every task that I'm doing, it gets me more dead set on accomplishing my goals. Every "no" that I hear just gets me more obstinate that I WILL succeed in what I'm doing.
In life and from personal experience, whenever I hear the "No you *can't* do that" or "No, Alex don't* do that" - I SWEAR that there is a filter that separates everything into two different categories. Whenever I hear someone tell me "No" I either 1) Assess the situation for myself and ask myself "Is there a legitimate threat to my well being? or 2) Is this person just (unintentionally) trying to limit me?
Whenever I get 1, I usually (lol) cease and desist. But whenever I get 2, I literally want to prove the person wrong. It's not in an ego way to PROVE to others that I can, but rather so I can see for myself whether it can be done and IF it is a better way of living, even if slightly.
Today, my Dad called my goals a little "misguided", and I understand his reasoning for that and I completely respect him for it. I know that if he could see what I see and also feel into how strong my heart is, then he would understand a little bit why I'm doing what I'm doing. Yesterday, by setting the plan for myself, I literally did 90% of the work. All the guesswork is out of the picture, it's just me actually doing it.
I already know Who, What, When, Where, and Why. But the How keeps displaying itself WHEN and ONLY when I need it.
**"Whenever I need an answer, it will appear right when I need it. Not a Second later, not a second earlier.**
This is the type of trust that I have in the Universe, others, and myself which is why I'm not too worried about the "How". In my mind, I have a nice How planned out, but I'm open to whatever the Universe has. It probably has a MUCH better plan than mine! haha!
I discover the "How" by taking action and getting things done. I don't think I'll ever be done with my "tasks", but I'm always willing to keep going. I'm willing to do whatever it takes. I'm willing to go the extra mile, because I know that everything that I'm doing right now is for my purpose. It's something that I truly want to do.
I remember that I woke up last night around 3.30 AM and I was pretty alert and awake, but I was just COMPLETELY marveled at my ability to persist even if I didn't "want" to do something. If I KNEW that I had to do something, at this point in my life since everything is tied to my purpose, I DO it. I realize that not doing it means pain (usually very subtle), but it is pain because it is procrastination.
**Procrastination is the silent killer of success**
But I'm going to write just one more section, and it's about something I'm reluctant to openly acknowledge.
I have a fear that I'll stall out. Not necessarily get burned out, just Stall out. As in all of a sudden, I'm going, I'm going I'm going, and then I stop. It has happened because in the past, I feel that I have "Domino Habits" - meaning that when one falls, they ALL fall, it's only a matter of time. I'm afraid that one day I won't get up at 5 AM and that all will be lost or that all of a sudden I'll view the thing that I want the most in life right now with contempt and scorn.
What do I really have to say about it?
As long as I keep taking action, I'll be in good company. I've been cultivating the characteristic of self-discipline and Persistence. As long as I keep taking action, EVEN WHEN IT GETS HARD, I'll get to where I want to go.
"If you're going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill. Makes me smile, ha!
Domino Habits - Since 80% of success is just showing up, just make sure that I'm keeping my habits in check. Give my best, everyday, everytime. Don't hold back. I KNOW that there is more pain whenever you hold back on something. Whenever I've held back in my life, I've secretly lost. Personally, I would rather die doing something that I believe in (this), than I would living a life that I would consider to be a lie (I'll describe that more tomorrow). I've found something that means something to me. It's not just the destination...I'll get there sometime, I know....but it's the journey. It's the fun that I'm having learning. It's the people that I see in the SuperMarket. It's the friends that I have and get to see. It is the Family that I have that loves me to death. It's all the blessings that I've been given so far - a warm house, a soft bed, FOOD to eat. God, I'm so thankful for everything. You've granted me so much and I feel as if though I haven't even lived my life as much as I should.
Just the gift of being alive and getting to feel alive, being able to do something that I love, being able to work to a higher calling, being able to learn from life itself, being able to have the crazy experiences that I do....this ALONE is worth the price of admission. I thank you God.
Failure - if I don't get something done. Do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to GET THE **** UP AND KEEP GOING. It doesn't matter how many times I stumble and fall, it matters about how many times I can get up. Fall down 7 times, get up 8.
Yesterday, for the first time in my life, I realized that I DO have choice over my actions. I have choice over my attitude and my focus. I might not be able to always control the world around me, but I AM able to control my inner world. I'm willing to do WHATEVER IT TAKES. And I promise myself right now....right here, right now, that I'm going to keep going no matter what.
That's all I have to say.
This is happening...