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Originally Posted by homeboy  I have a roommate who I've known for about 4 years already. We've been 'friends' for the same time too but I think he's just taking advantage of us. I have been pulling myself away from him cuz he seems like a very bad introvert. He plays this game called FFXI for 4 years on the dot and gotten every single expansion that has come out. On the timer in game its been clocked as more than a year. That means hes been logged on for a year in that game. It's driving me crazy. He has no real life friends and when people ask him to go to partys or events he just shruggs it off. I tell him to go meet new people and stuff but he says he doesn't need friends who do drugs and drink alcohol which seems hypocratic since his online friends do it too. All he does in the last 4 years which I have witnessed is talk on a microphone with his group online. It's driving me crazy and it gets me very angry cuz hes wasting every second. Please note I have tried all the MMORPGs out there: Star Wars Galaxy, World of Warcraft and his stupid Final Fantasy 11 all to which I think is a complete waste of time and money. I'm so happy I'll be graduating so I don't get to see or hear from him anymore. I've tried throwing a birthday get2gether for him but he just goes back to his room. Dunno what to do anymore, anybody got a good book I could actually buy him so he'd get off being a potato?
He does not admit that this is a problem. |
It's quite possible your friend is harbouring an unhealthy addiction, but I wouldn't be so quick to say that the game(s) he plays is/are a waste of time.
Whether you are aware of it or not, every game makes a statement of some sort, and all games teach -- or at the very least, utilise -- certain skills. Non-gamers often look past such subtleties (I did for many years, even as someone who plays games), but they are there, and they’re often more useful then you think.
He may later use his experience and knowledge with games to develop one himself one day and create a profitable business or a source of income from it. And the notion of good and bad is relative to the individual, so while other activities may seem better to you, it may not quite be the case with him. For example, I believe that your friend has some good points about drugs and alcohol (his logic may not be 100% sound, but still).
For example, I’d be curious to know how many hours some people have used on such activities such as drinking and hanging out with their friends... activities that may or may not produce any meaningful results that could be seen as equally “wasteful” from a certain perspective. I'd bet I've spent close to a year on activities that haven't really given me great results, but that doesn't make them bad. Personally, I'd go as far to say that so long as there are no major negative consequences, it's better your friend is doing something he enjoys rather then slaving away at something he doesn't (people with jobs they hate and constantly complain about yet do nothing to improve their situation come to mind, and while most would consider this to be "normal" due to their social conditioning, I sure don't share that perspective and see it as a sort of "addiction" in itself -- an addiction to action that causes suffering).
Now don’t get me wrong -- I'm not saying what your friend is doing is good, but I’m saying that it’s not necessarily bad either, or at least, as bad as it seems. If you are genuinely interested in helping him (and not just trying to make him less irritating to you, since that would be more about your personal preferences and may not be in his best interests -- which isn’t a bad thing, it just requires a different approach to the one I’m suggesting), I’d recommend that you either talk to him and ask him what he does like to do and set a date to go out and do it (if he’s willing to do so), or try to propose some activities for him to do that mesh closely with the reason why he likes playing the games he does in the first place. Once he discovers that there are other sources for what he seems to enjoy so much, he’ll probably be more likely to adventure out and mix things up a bit.
But, really, it’s all about free will and personal preference. If he doesn’t want to do things, you can’t force him (well, you can, but that won’t be a very effective approach and will likely just cause unwanted drama). Maybe the best option is just to leave him be and let him learn from his action (or inaction). And if he doesn’t learn, revel in the fact that he’s living life the way he wants to live it.
Additionally, here are some article from Steve that you may find useful: