Wow, I am new to this forum there's a lot of sage advice here! I just clicked on this thread out of the blue and have been really impressed by the level of input from everyone.
Anyway...
Two things popped into my mind as I read your post, Oldsoul.
1) Has your wife seen a doctor about her diminished libido?
Many times a hormonal balance is the root cause of a low libido. She may just need to use some testosterone cream - yes, even us gals need testosterone! (And don't worry, she won't suddenly grow a beard or sound like the Jolly Green Giant.)
I know someone who uses testosterone cream. It's a guy, actually, and he said that, for him, using testosterone cream was like having the world go from black and white to technicolor.
2) At the end of your post, you mentioned that she says that you are the one with the problem, not her.
Ouch!
Isn't part of being a loving couple sharing in each other's burdens? I mean, if my partner is unhappy, while I may not feel it's my fault in any manner, I certainly feel that it is my problem as well as his!
I look forward to hearing how things are going for you. Hang in there!
Best wishes,
Tui
mental mosaic - pick up your pieces; make something pretty