[persephonevii]

How can I deal with my rude, abusive and crude sister without exploding into a hysterical rage? My sister to begin with has an antagonistic personality, it is hard to get along with her even when she's in a good mood. She tends to treat those close to her like dirt; screaming and swearing abuse when it suits her and buttering up and being sweet when she wants something. Sometimes she will trash a room or bashes her victim when it suits her. I like to call her 'A Naomi Campbell-in-training'. She also has little sense of humour, any jokes directed towards will most likely have one being screamed at. In fact, a day doesn't go by when she isn't shrieking and abusing someone, be it me, her parents, her friends or her boyfriend.

I have tried to calm her but she just gets angrier. If I talk to her about it, she doesn't think it's a problem and claims that's just the way she is and if one does not like it 'they can go get $#@$@!'.

Thing is, rage is contagious and absolutely dread getting confronted/yelled/abused by her because unless I enact some crazy self-control (often results in me trashing stuff outside later and my vision blurring), I often end up in a yelling match with her or even worst, degenerating to physical violence. I know I can't change her as much I wish I could, but I can change myself. So how do I remain calm whenever she attacks me? And to stop or at least take the blow out of her verbal abuse? And also how do I deal with her threats, eg: she shrieks 'You don't do this, I'll trash your room!!', without me totally losing it or kowtowing to her ridiculous demands?