Hi oldsoul,
before you discard your marriage, take an honest look at two things.
Firstly sexual compatibility. Was there a time when you 'both' enjoyed your sexual relationship. If it has always been one sided and she has always been a reluctant participant them maybe you just aren't compatible and you may need to start looking at moving on. If it has been great in the past then there's a chance you can resurect it.
You can't demand sex as marrital right. You just create resentment.
A friend of mine had a similar problem last year. Her and her hubby had young kiddies (sleepless nights) and financial pressures and he constantly pushing her for sex. She wasn't feeling sexy and started seeing him as another demand on her physically and emotionally. They fought over it and she was scared he'd start looking elsewhere. She wanted to be made love to (not just jabbed at by exhausted husband late at night). To be filled up again. To feel like a woman.
In the infamous words of John Grey 'Women need to feel loved to make love, Men need to make love to feel loved.' He wasn't interested in doing the romantic '♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥' he called it, so I suggested she created the scene she needed to feel romantic. I suggested 'she' seduce him by sending the kids off to her mums for the night. Then turning the lights down or lighting candles, making a picnic dinner and setting it up on the lounge floor with a bottle of wine. She put on make-up, did her hair, wore a nice dress and was ready when he got home.
He walked in after work and saw the scene, knew he was going to get sex (was instantly keen as) and happily joined in. She taught him what she needed. Next thing he's taking her to dinner and organising romantic liasons again.
Maybe you can make your situation work by remembering or finding out what she needs to feel loved, so you can get the love you need. Win win.
Other people may be able to suggest some things you can try.
Lallymac
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