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Originally Posted by Oldsoul  Thanks for your input Lychee, Also thank you April for your sympathy. It's great to know that a woman can see a man's side of things.
But thats the problem.....she just says that she doesn't want to have sex. That is her reason, and she thinks that I should just respect her, and take care of my needs on my own. I've explained to her that masturbation is not going to take care of my needs, and she just replies, "well that's your problem, then."
She is really being quite mean about it, actually, but our financial situation right now, and the fact that we have two kids makes things really difficult to just part ways.
As for my male friends, well, they are not really helpful, they suggest getting the sex on the side, but that's not really what I'm after. I really love my wife and want to be faithful, but I need her to show me the affection I need. And to be honest, I really only want to make love to her, and not anyone else.
Any other thoughts? |
What she is doing is not right at all. She is your wife and you are her husband. You have the right to ask for sex and she has the right to ask that of you.
It's good that you are choosing not to go with the advice of your friends. When I hear people giving advice like this to other people, my heart just drops. I admire that you are remaining loyal to your marriage despite the difficult situation you are in.
Oldsoul...there is not much room for flexibility here. You want something from her and she is not giving it to you. She is refusing other avenues to reach a solution. You are in a difficult place because you want this particular thing from her and only her. The only option I see here is that you: 1) cope with the fact that she doesn't want to have sex with you while remaining loyal to her and to the marriage, or 2) ask for a divorce so that you can fulfill your needs. However the first option doesn't really work because this is something that you need and cannot ignore. You should not put down or ignore what you lawfully desire. The second option doesn't work too well either because you don't and can't really divorce her now for various reasons, and what you want you want from just her.
I'd say you (firmly but compassionately) take a stand. You have rights in this marriage as much as she does. If she says that you should respect her feelings to not have sex, she should also respect your feelings to have sex. Maybe you can ask for a compromise and maybe even set "rules" as you said before where you both can have your desires met.