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cookie lee · 04-05-2007, 06:43 AM

Just to let you know, I have been through a few abusive relationships myself. Once I moved clear across the United States because he had tried to kill me and threatened to come after me to finish the job. Freaky stuff. So I felt it was in my best interest to leave everything and start over. However, I realized that my family was here and I was there. So I then moved back AGAIN.

But I did realize just how important family can be. They are supportive and encouraging and want the best for you. So dont forget that you can lean on them right now. I agree with the suggestion to find new friends. That cannot be a comfortable situation for you OR your friends. Feeling like you cannot express your feelings and them not wanting to take sides.

You are probably already doing this but just to emphasize, make sure to tell your therapist things that you are feeling. It is sooo important that you dont leave things out just because they might be difficult to talk about. I am reminding you because I have a tendency to do this myself. See she doesnt know, so I dont have to tell her right? NO! It will never get resolved if I do that.

Also, I just wanted to touch on the comment of dependability. I seem to have this problem myself and as well do you, i think. I have buisied myself with school and work and me time. This way if something does come along... ok, but if it doesnt I'm not let down either because I am happy. Someone once told me " Dont make someone your priority when all you are to them is an option" and I totally live by that. I have my own priorities now and so should you. Forget about her! She is tantalizing and abusing you still, just emotionally. Get her completely out of your life. Out of sight out of mind (for the most part anyway). K well keep up the good work on being strong. Hope this helped a little- It helped me just to write it. Hey try that too. Writing to get stuff out. k well enough blab.

04-05-2007, 06:43 AM	#5 (permalink)
cookie lee Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Michigan Posts: 4	Hopefully Helps Just to let you know, I have been through a few abusive relationships myself. Once I moved clear across the United States because he had tried to kill me and threatened to come after me to finish the job. Freaky stuff. So I felt it was in my best interest to leave everything and start over. However, I realized that my family was here and I was there. So I then moved back AGAIN. But I did realize just how important family can be. They are supportive and encouraging and want the best for you. So dont forget that you can lean on them right now. I agree with the suggestion to find new friends. That cannot be a comfortable situation for you OR your friends. Feeling like you cannot express your feelings and them not wanting to take sides. You are probably already doing this but just to emphasize, make sure to tell your therapist things that you are feeling. It is sooo important that you dont leave things out just because they might be difficult to talk about. I am reminding you because I have a tendency to do this myself. See she doesnt know, so I dont have to tell her right? NO! It will never get resolved if I do that. Also, I just wanted to touch on the comment of dependability. I seem to have this problem myself and as well do you, i think. I have buisied myself with school and work and me time. This way if something does come along... ok, but if it doesnt I'm not let down either because I am happy. Someone once told me " Dont make someone your priority when all you are to them is an option" and I totally live by that. I have my own priorities now and so should you. Forget about her! She is tantalizing and abusing you still, just emotionally. Get her completely out of your life. Out of sight out of mind (for the most part anyway). K well keep up the good work on being strong. Hope this helped a little- It helped me just to write it. Hey try that too. Writing to get stuff out. k well enough blab.