Hi, Jamie, and welcome to the forums!
Your post sounded familiar to me - I only a few months ago gave myself permission to say out loud that what I want is a mate -- someone who will choose me fully and whom I will fully choose. Within a couple of days after saying it (I burst into tears when I said it, I'd been judging myself for that desire for so long), the guy I think of as the love of my life showed up, and we're going now strong. Surprise!
If you want to be a vibrational match for a good-feeling relationship, I'd suggest you let go of all the blah-blah-blah about it: the reasons, the shoulds, the I-don't-knows -- and focus on thoughts that feel good when you feel them. Good-feeling people are magnets for other good-feeling people, and you don't have to worry about where or when or how or why you'll meet your match -- you can just relax and BE the partner you want to be NOW, before you even meet him. You can think of yourself as preparing yourself, as he is preparing himself for you. You are warming up your arms for him, and he is warming his arms for you to walk into easily and effortlessly, at exactly the right time.
Focus on joy, and trust yourself.
I'm so glad you're here!
(P.s. have you ever heard that country-western song, "Did I Shave My Legs for THIS?"
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