Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post

Grazioso07 · 04-05-2007, 01:27 AM

Hi Betty,

I actually joined this forum simply to reply to your message - mainly to get some advice from you! I know that may sound silly, but here is the situation... I just googled this phrase: "Dealing with jealousy from others."

You see, ummm, I am one of those girls, I guess?? I mean, I don't wear the trendy clothes and obsess about the hottest makeup. I go for a more timeless look - on the inside and the outside. I don't know if that makes any sense, but... well...

I mean, I have been asked if I was a model before. I have people telling me how beautiful I am all the time, and I appreciate it. It is very kind of them to compliment me like that. But the saddest thing is when I walk down the sidewalk only to see numerous girls at different times look me up and down and snarl. It hurts.

Once a girl actually told me that she was "surprised that I was so nice and would be her friend because I was so pretty." It broke my heart, and I can't tell you how many times I have been told that. Even my fiance told me when we started dating that he didn't think I would go for him at first because I was "too beautiful."

It hurt so much, and to be honest, I even started to sabatoge myself. I stopped exercising, stopped eating healthy, and I just wore sweatshirts all the time. Was I happy? NO! I wasn't taking care of myself or respecting my body. I gained a lot of weight, and I wasn't nearly as healthy. But, people still told me how beautiful I was. I gained like 40 lbs, and I was STILL getting the SAME comments!

Well, I lost the weight because my wedding is coming up, and I was starting to realize that I had to respect my body no matter what people did or said about me.

I am just having a hard time dealing with it because its like... why would God give me something that most people would look at as a gift, only to have so many other people feel inadequate or jealous because of it? It makes me feel like what should be a good thing has turned rotten.

And, please don't misunderstand me. I am not trying to brag and say that I am "so" beautiful. I just don't really know how to handle it... I shouldn't have to hide my gifts. I shouldn't have to disrespect myself. I shouldn't have to feel bad about this. At the same time, I don't want to feel like I am inflicting pain on other girls - girls who are so beautiful on the inside AND on the outside. Girls who I sometimes think are just afraid of loving themselves.

So, what would you tell one of those girls on campus if they were struggling with this?

Thank you for your help, and I hope that in answering my question, you will find some answers to your own.

04-05-2007, 01:27 AM	#13 (permalink)
Grazioso07 Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 3	The Opposite Problem Hi Betty, I actually joined this forum simply to reply to your message - mainly to get some advice from you! I know that may sound silly, but here is the situation... I just googled this phrase: "Dealing with jealousy from others." You see, ummm, I am one of those girls, I guess?? I mean, I don't wear the trendy clothes and obsess about the hottest makeup. I go for a more timeless look - on the inside and the outside. I don't know if that makes any sense, but... well... I mean, I have been asked if I was a model before. I have people telling me how beautiful I am all the time, and I appreciate it. It is very kind of them to compliment me like that. But the saddest thing is when I walk down the sidewalk only to see numerous girls at different times look me up and down and snarl. It hurts. Once a girl actually told me that she was "surprised that I was so nice and would be her friend because I was so pretty." It broke my heart, and I can't tell you how many times I have been told that. Even my fiance told me when we started dating that he didn't think I would go for him at first because I was "too beautiful." It hurt so much, and to be honest, I even started to sabatoge myself. I stopped exercising, stopped eating healthy, and I just wore sweatshirts all the time. Was I happy? NO! I wasn't taking care of myself or respecting my body. I gained a lot of weight, and I wasn't nearly as healthy. But, people still told me how beautiful I was. I gained like 40 lbs, and I was STILL getting the SAME comments! Well, I lost the weight because my wedding is coming up, and I was starting to realize that I had to respect my body no matter what people did or said about me. I am just having a hard time dealing with it because its like... why would God give me something that most people would look at as a gift, only to have so many other people feel inadequate or jealous because of it? It makes me feel like what should be a good thing has turned rotten. And, please don't misunderstand me. I am not trying to brag and say that I am "so" beautiful. I just don't really know how to handle it... I shouldn't have to hide my gifts. I shouldn't have to disrespect myself. I shouldn't have to feel bad about this. At the same time, I don't want to feel like I am inflicting pain on other girls - girls who are so beautiful on the inside AND on the outside. Girls who I sometimes think are just afraid of loving themselves. So, what would you tell one of those girls on campus if they were struggling with this? Thank you for your help, and I hope that in answering my question, you will find some answers to your own.